How does your child feel loved: the 5 languages of love

enero 26, 2026

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Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell talk about an emotional tank. They compare this tank to the ones on cars, when a car’s tank is full it is ready to function properly and go the distance. We can understand the emotional tank in a similar way, when it is full children feel strengthened and prepared to go through their day-to-day and face tough situations.

So how can we fill up the emotional tank? The answer is simple: love. 

Because of that, it is important that parents understand and know the way their child feels loved. According to Dr. Chapman and Dr. Campbell, there are five love languages which are different ways in which children feel loved the most. 

Each person has a primary love language. Understanding which is the primary language of your child can make them feel more valid, building deeper and stronger bonds.

Dr. Chapman states the following as the different love languages:

• 1. Gifts: Children who have this primary love language often love both to give and receive gifts. These gifts are not necessarily store bought, but meaningful tokens of appreciation. For example, bringing their favorite sweet at the end of the school day, it will make them feel seen and cherished.
• 2. Words of affirmation: If your child often uses their words to express affection, give compliments or to encourage others, then they probably feel more loved and cared for through words and phrases. Using these words can help them feel more affection. For example, “I believe in you”, “I’m proud of what you did today”.
• 3. Quality time: When children want to spend time with you or to be near you, then quality time is the way that they feel important. Setting a specific time to be with them in activities that they find meaningful or enjoyable can help strengthen your bond, with busy schedules sometimes setting a specific time can be challenging. When that’s the case, you can try setting aside 5 minutes to know about their day.
• 4. Acts of service: In this love language, children enjoy doing things for others and having things done for them. Things like helping them prepare their schoolbag or preparing their favorite meal makes them feel cared for. If you think that this might be your child’s love language, you can plan or hand them different and meaningful tasks for them to help out with throughout the day (cooking together, taking care of your pet, setting the table, etc.)
• 5. Physical touch: Hugging, cuddling, holding are some examples of physical touch. Through physical touch, children can feel a sense of attachment and safety. If this is the way your child feels loved the most, you can try to incorporate touch in your day-to-day routine. For example, hugging them when they get back from school or caressing their hair before they go to sleep. 

While it is important to speak or to use your child’s primary love language, it is also important to incorporate other love languages to fill up their emotional tank. For example, acts of service and gifts should be combined with other languages so our children experience a well-balanced attachment style, boundaries and to show different ways of affection and care. 

If you want to build a deeper connection with your child, at CAPI we can help you to identify your child’s primary love language and nourish your bond using unconditional love. 

We cannot control the things our child goes through, but filling up their emotional tanks will let them know that you are their safe place and will give them a sense of value and care. 

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